Why Looking Back is the Only Way Forward

Hey fam,

Over the past few weeks, we’ve talked a lot about self-awareness—about slowing down, reflecting, and getting real with yourself. If you’ve been following along, you know that for years, I was operating on autopilot. Chasing goals, running businesses, always focused on the next thing without ever stopping to ask myself: Why am I doing this?

And then, I hit a wall.

Not just in business, but in life.

It forced me to pause. To question. To actually listen to what was going on inside. And the biggest realisation?

I wasn’t just running toward success. I was running from something.

For the longest time, I avoided looking back at my past. I told myself it wasn’t necessary. I had nothing to complain about. No big traumas, no dramatic events—so why dwell on it?

But here’s the thing: Avoiding your past doesn’t mean it’s not affecting you.

I didn’t see it at first, but my behaviours—how I reacted under stress, the way I handled relationships, even my drive for success—were shaped by patterns I picked up as a kid.

And the worst part? I didn’t even realise it.

Growing up, I absorbed things I never questioned. The way people avoided conflict. How emotions were brushed aside instead of dealt with. The way work and achievement were tied to self-worth. These things became normal to me.

Fast forward to adulthood, and I noticed a pattern:

• I’d shut down in arguments, convinced that keeping the peace was more important than being understood.

• I’d push myself to exhaustion, thinking my worth was tied to how much I achieved.

• And when things went wrong, I’d look for external fixes instead of sitting with the discomfort.

At first, I thought, This is just who I am.

But the truth?

These were survival mechanisms I picked up as a kid. They worked back then—but now? They were holding me back.

The moment I started reflecting—really digging into why I felt and acted the way I did—things shifted.

• I realised my emotions weren’t problems to solve; they were signals.

• I learned that understanding where my behaviours came from was the first step to changing them.

• And I finally saw that growth doesn’t come from avoiding discomfort—it comes from facing it.

It wasn’t easy. Looking back means facing things you’d rather ignore. But here’s what I’ve learned:

Your past doesn’t define you. But if you don’t understand it, it’ll quietly shape your present.

What’s one behaviour or pattern in your life that feels automatic—like it’s always been there?

And what might change if you started to question where it came from?

Reflecting on your past isn’t about staying there—it’s about freeing yourself from it.

Think about it.

Cheers,
Markus